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BlueWolf's Howl

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June 08, 2003

Patience

It feels like September... No, I'm not talking about the weather ~ Well, here we've had an unusually loooooong winter and thought Spring was never going to grace our towns and cities. But, that's beside the point. I'm talking about the internal cycle I'm currently experiencing.

A long time ago I noticed a habit of mine. It started around September. I would begin things - lots of things. The crispness was in the air and the "new school year" program was running inside my head. I must start new things. Growth things. I need to learn...experience...wonder.... And I would begin a number of projects. Inevitably, I would start as many projects as I could get off the ground. By November, all the projects would be in their peak of demand. By December I would be exhausted and stressed.

I detected this pattern and patched it. I can tell when this cycle starts and I gently remind myself about the consequences. As I've matured (okay, gotten older), I've learned to pace myself. This has worked for me for a number of years. I thought the monster was conquered. Apparently, it was only conquered for Fall.

Spring finally arrived (yes, sometime around JUNE)... New and Fresh was in the air. The flowers are starting to bloom. Everything's new. Gee, I should start some new things! I started a few things and flags started flying. I thought I was at a football game.

I also noticed a new trigger. It's the waiting... A number of the new things I started are taking a while to get off the ground. I enrolled in Excelsior college. I'm waiting for my transcripts to be evaluated so I can finish up the loose ends and finally get that degree. I still have two more Microsoft tests to take - for extra cushion and also for the college credit.

I'm waiting for the evaluation to get started on both of those things (although I should be studying for the exam anyway...). So, while I wait -- I start new things! Yeah... I'm trying to get an email list going. But, I have to wait on that. So, I'll start something else (while that's already "in the works"...) Flag! And I bought a few more books this weekend... Flag! HUGE FLAG! I'm also trying to prepare for an interview this week. And Windows 2003 just came out - I'd like to get a head start on that...

Whew! I look around. My reading list and pages read have not been updated in a while. Reason? I've started about 6 books and I'm inching my way through them all -- all at once. *shakes head* It's time to focus.

It may take some time, but it'll be time invested. I have to make a list. There are things that need to be done and things I want to be done. I have to separate those two groups. I have to organize my reading and discipline myself to finish them in the order they *should* be read. And I need to get a feeling of accomplishment with some task very quickly. Perhaps that will give me patience. Perhaps if I'm busy finishing things, time will pass while I'm waiting on my irons in the fire.

And who knows? I just might accomplish something in the process...

Posted by BlueWolf on June 8, 2003 08:28 PM