BlueWolf's Howl

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October 12, 2005

Back in the saddle

I've finally rescheduled the BCRAN exam. The toughest part was not the material - it was the emotional battle. Once you fail a test, it's not easy to retake it. Especially if you felt you knew the material very well the first time.

It's not the money. Granted, it wasn't easy to accept that failing a test meant that $125 just went out the window. But, I know it's not just the lost money that holds you back. When the MCSE 2000 certification track was released, there was an accelerated exam. It was free. Yes, Microsoft gave you a shot at the exam on them. The catch was -- you could only take it once. If you failed, you had to take 5 exams to upgrade from MCSE NT to MCSE 2000. When it was released, no one was on Windows 2000 and few businesses were considering the upgrade. It coincided with the dot com fallout. I didn't have the time and the equipment to study in my usual manner. Then the company I worked for went under... I had plenty of time, but no equipment for a 'lab' (which is where you learn the most). Also, my focus was on finding a job, rather than studying for a test. Oh...and catch number two - it was only available for a limited time. As that deadline quickly approached, I crammed as much as I could - to no avail. I took the test and blew it. It devastated me. It blew my confidence. I was afraid to take the next test. For a 'free' test, it did more damage than good. I should have skipped it and would have taken the 5 tests earlier than I did without the emotional baggage. But, hindsight is always 20/20...

So once again I stand in that scary place. It was quite an emotional battle to reschedule the exam. I know that once I get through this, the last test is the easy one for me. But, I have to get through this one first. And, as always, it's the time pressure that is pushing me through the doorway. My CCNA expires this December. I have to pass a CCNP exam to recertify (or retake the CCNA). I had planned on attaining the CCNP before recertifying. I remember how I felt when I took the recert exam last time. It felt so useless recertifying on a credential I already had. I felt I had made no progress. It was stifling. I promised myself that I wouldn't have to take it again. And that was what propelled me to take the first two exams of this series. On top of that, my yearly review is coming up. I have to show some progress in this area so I can do well on the review. So I was motivated to reschedule the exam. I take it again on Monday.

Posted by BlueWolf on October 12, 2005 09:39 AM