She lit a stick of incense
And said an incantation
Calling all etheral beings
From every denomination

From head to toe in cotton
With crystals all around
She listened very carefully
For any creaking sound

She looked for the shadows
Using the corners of her eyes
Calling again in earnest
For spirits to arise

A call in every language
The grimoire said to use
She read the book carefully
Searching for any clues

She cupped her hand around an ear
And listened very hard
Until she heard her own heartbeat
And felt like a real big retard

And then a sound came fast and loud
She jumped out of her skin
A cat-filled bag rolled cross the floor
Much to the cat's chagrin

Giving the cat a scolding
That wasn't really needed
Distracted from the spectre watch
That was no longer being heeded

And so it snuck up on her
And caught her unaware
So when she heard the spirit speak
She pissed her underwear

She backed away quite slowly
Then ran upstairs to hide
She hid under the covers;
Hugged her pillow and cried

The spirit stood with hands on hips
And copped an attitude
He vowed to not do that again
The living are way too rude