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December 10, 2001

The True Story

Okay...we all know Tracy exaggerates and has a flair for drama. She's even been known to occassionally (always) take quotes out of context (note the top of her blog)...

Anyway the REAL haircut story goes like this:
[cellphone conversation]

T: By the way, I got my hair cut.
L: I figured you would. (She mentioned wanting to the other day and now she's at the mall with her mom...)
T: I just wanted to warn you...it's short.
L: I'm not surprised. (She's done this before. She gets frustrated about -whatever- about her hair and in a hormonal surge of hair rage, gets it lopped off. She likes it for about 48 hours and then complains about it until it grows back to its original length.)
T: It's real short. (I'm not getting the expected reaction...I better push...)
L: How short? (Hmmm...is this exaggeration or did she really screw up this time?)
T: REAL short.
L: I knew you would... (Okay...she's looking for the reaction, it might not be that bad...but the only way I'll know "how short" is when I see her... )

*****

Okay. We've been here before. Many times for many reasons. Which reason is it this time? (imagining that "real short" means Susan Powter short... or at least shorter than mine...)

*mental database search of Tracy posts, comments, and conversations gets an advanced query for hair*

Not much of a return on that one. Only two hair comments recently. Hmmm...

*mental database search of Tracy posts, comments, and conversations gets an advanced query for frequency of topics*

femme invisibility
Christmas
presents

Hmmm.... Okay, I get it. She's freaking out about not being taken *seriously* as a lesbian. She's on her femme invisibility trip and thinks a little butch cut is going to make her more "obvious" to the community and the world at large. *doing an overlay of my first years as a lesbian projected onto the current Tracy database* Yup, that's probably it. *calling up lesbian orientation document 52863* Ah, there it is...the ol' "you don't have to be the butchest-looking woman in the world to be gay" document. I remember that one. When I first came out, I thought that if I didn't look as butch as possible, that I was somehow "less gay." It's not about the clothes ... it's about taking *off* the clothes and what you do _then_ that makes you gay (lick'em or stick'em). Now I'm just me (which is slightly butch, but not too much). And she needs to be just her (which is slightly femme, but not too much). Okay...I've reviewed the document. I'm ready.

*wait for Tracy*

She walks in and my jaw drops. It's GORGEOUS! And it's not that short. It's about shoulder length (very flattering and femme-looking) and there are these sexy waves flowing through it. Her natural waves. And it looks like the hair she was meant to have - very natural on her. And very healthy hair.

T: Do you like it?
L: *picks jaw up from floor* Yes, I love it!
T: But it's so short.
L: It's not that short at all.
T: Yes, it is. But it's all even now. When it grows out (see...she's already wanting to grow it longer) it'll all be the same length. I've been trying to get it to do that for a long time.
L: I know honey. And I'm glad you finally got it.
T: Yeah, and see these waves? (How could I miss the waves that melted my knees?) They're natural. I'm glad I didn't get another perm to try and get them. They were there all along. I just needed to quit damaging my hair and they showed up...
L: It looks great!

So...I think this is the end of the hair saga. No, it's not. Since she didn't get the reaction from me that she *thought* she was going to get, she's got early "hair regret"... All that for nothing. Geez. So she starts in on the "it's too short."

Eventually the HR comments reach the threshold and it kicks off a "do something about it" script. The script was kicked off early this morning.

T: But it's too short.
L: *grabbing a fistful of hair and pushing her head towards...* No, it's not.

That's the *real* story... Believe who you want...

Posted by BlueWolf on December 10, 2001 04:56 PM