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BlueWolf's Howl

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October 10, 2003

Queer Eye

As I'm not much of a tv watcher (usually only Wed nights) ... I tend to stumble across random shows sometimes. Tonight I stumbled across Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

It was different. It was not what I expected from the title. Actually, I didn't know what to expect from the title. Perhaps a violent show? Instead...it was five trendy gay guys doing an emergency fashion makeover for a kickboxer.

Blink. Blink.

I think the show shocked me. Granted, they did a fabulous makeover job. Shows like that always do a good job. They take someone who's blah and make them maaaaaaaaaaaaahvelous. We've seen it a million times (usually on daytime television). We all know that everything will turn out flashy wonderful at the end. And we all know that probably such drastic changes won't last. But, it's a warm fuzzy to see what could be and it has a happy hurrah at the end.

I hope George does well. He seemed like a real nice guy.

What I think shocked me is that they're doing it to straight guys now! (Yeah for equal rights!!!!) I've always secretly hated those shows. They always snatched up some poor girl and told her she's been living her life all wrong all along. And if she would just LOOK NICER, her whole world would change.

Yes, I understand the "dress for success" slogan. And I do understand that you don't put a filet mignon on a paper plate or champagne in a paper cup. But looks aren't everything. What about substance? What about depth?

I think there needs to be an alternate program. It will change the world. You get 5 really smart people... and they do an emergency mental makeover.

One person could be in charge of Common Sense. They watch the stupid things you do and give you hints on how you could engage your brain more effectively and not look like such a DOPE. Lesson 1: If you walk up to an elevator and the UP button is pushed ....and you want to go up....you DON'T push the button again. Lesson 2: If you're talking through a speaker...be it phone or drive through speaker... and you're asked a question....you DON'T nod your head. The show's producer would have to insure that this person doesn't monopolize the entire show...

The second person could be in charge of Reading and Literature. Honey, the books you're reading are just allllll wrong...uh...wait, you don't have any books! *gasp and clutch the pearls* They outfit you with a bookcase and start you out with a few good reads. They show you what genres are and break you from that nasty Enquirer habit. For the hard core cases, there's always books on tape or cd....

The third person covers Logic and Mathematics. This person has the toughest job of all. They have to counter all the hype from commercials and marketing's brand of magical math. You can't "do more with less" unless you increase efficiency in some manner. Just the desire to join the slogan's bandwagon doesn't cut it. If you have 200 hours worth of work to be performed per week, you cannot do it with a staff of 2 without overtime by decree. It doesn't matter that you're the boss/owner, either (whip or no whip). The math doesn't work. If you take that 200 hours worth of work and introduce some type of automation which allows one person to handle more processing....you have increased efficiency by streamlining the process and then you *can* do more with less. Putting up $5 worth of motivational posters does not count as "automation."

The fourth person covers Current Events and Geography. For current events, they could introduce the person to a newspaper. Perhaps even talk to a journalist... The journalist could explain how hard it is to get published and that freedom of the press means that the government can't bully the newspaper...not that the press is free and newspapers must print every diatribe you send.... For Geography starters...they could present the difference between Long Island and Rhode Island... Maybe later episodes (or less needy participants) could be presented the difference between Great Britain and England.

The fifth would be in charge of Computers. They could cover hoaxes and maintenance (update, update, update). The episodes on Social Engineering would have great potential for playful ridicule. They could unclutter the desktop and defrag the hard drive. File organization would definitely be a staple.

Yes, this show could change the world....one idiot at a time.

Posted by BlueWolf on October 10, 2003 11:19 PM